Act IV

Scene I A street.

[Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and
WILLIAM PAGE]
MISTRESS PAGE Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,
truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing
into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young
man here to school. Look, where his master comes;
'tis a playing-day, I see.
[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS]
How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?
SIR HUGH EVANS No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in
the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some
questions in his accidence.
SIR HUGH EVANS Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.
MISTRESS PAGE Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your
master, be not afraid.
SIR HUGH EVANS William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM PAGE Two.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Truly, I thought there had been one number more,
because they say, ''Od's nouns.'
SIR HUGH EVANS Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.
SIR HUGH EVANS You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.
What is 'lapis,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE A stone.
SIR HUGH EVANS And what is 'a stone,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE A pebble.
SIR HUGH EVANS No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.
WILLIAM PAGE Lapis.
SIR HUGH EVANS That is a good William. What is he, William, that
does lend articles?
WILLIAM PAGE Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus
declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.
SIR HUGH EVANS Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:
genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM PAGE Accusativo, hinc.
SIR HUGH EVANS I pray you, have your remembrance, child,
accusative, hung, hang, hog.
MISTRESS QUICKLY 'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
SIR HUGH EVANS Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative
case, William?
WILLIAM PAGE O,--vocativo, O.
SIR HUGH EVANS Remember, William; focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY And that's a good root.
SIR HUGH EVANS 'Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGE Peace!
SIR HUGH EVANS What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM PAGE Genitive case!
SIR HUGH EVANS Ay.
WILLIAM PAGE Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name
her, child, if she be a whore.
SIR HUGH EVANS For shame, 'oman.
MISTRESS QUICKLY You do ill to teach the child such words: he
teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do
fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!
SIR HUGH EVANS 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the
genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGE Prithee, hold thy peace.
SIR HUGH EVANS Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
WILLIAM PAGE Forsooth, I have forgot.
SIR HUGH EVANS It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'
your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be
preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.
MISTRESS PAGE He is a better scholar than I thought he was.
SIR HUGH EVANS He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE Adieu, good Sir Hugh.
[Exit SIR HUGH EVANS]
Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
[Exeunt]