| [Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO] | |
| DON PEDRO | I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon. |
| CLAUDIO | I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe me. |
| DON PEDRO | Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks. |
| BENEDICK | Gallants, I am not as I have been. |
| LEONATO | So say I methinks you are sadder. |
| CLAUDIO | I hope he be in love. |
| DON PEDRO | Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad, he wants money. |
| BENEDICK | I have the toothache. |
| DON PEDRO | Draw it. |
| BENEDICK | Hang it! |
| CLAUDIO | You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards. |
| DON PEDRO | What! sigh for the toothache? |
| LEONATO | Where is but a humour or a worm. |
| BENEDICK | Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it. |
| CLAUDIO | Yet say I, he is in love. |
| DON PEDRO | There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as, a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. |
| CLAUDIO | If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a' brushes his hat o' mornings; what should that bode? |
| DON PEDRO | Hath any man seen him at the barber's? |
| CLAUDIO | No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls. |
| LEONATO | Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard. |
| DON PEDRO | Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that? |
| CLAUDIO | That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love. |
| DON PEDRO | The greatest note of it is his melancholy. |
| CLAUDIO | And when was he wont to wash his face? |
| DON PEDRO | Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him. |
| CLAUDIO | Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string and now governed by stops. |
| DON PEDRO | Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, conclude he is in love. |
| CLAUDIO | Nay, but I know who loves him. |
| DON PEDRO | That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not. |
| CLAUDIO | Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him. |
| DON PEDRO | She shall be buried with her face upwards. |
| BENEDICK | Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. |
| [Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO] | |
| DON PEDRO | For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. |
| CLAUDIO | 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet. |
| [Enter DON JOHN] | |
| DON JOHN | My lord and brother, God save you! |
| DON PEDRO | Good den, brother. |
| DON JOHN | If your leisure served, I would speak with you. |
| DON PEDRO | In private? |
| DON JOHN | If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of concerns him. |
| DON PEDRO | What's the matter? |
| DON JOHN | [To CLAUDIO] Means your lordship to be married to-morrow? |
| DON PEDRO | You know he does. |
| DON JOHN | I know not that, when he knows what I know. |
| CLAUDIO | If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it. |
| DON JOHN | You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage;--surely suit ill spent and labour ill bestowed. |
| DON PEDRO | Why, what's the matter? |
| DON JOHN | I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shortened, for she has been too long a talking of, the lady is disloyal. |
| CLAUDIO | Who, Hero? |
| DON PEDRO | Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero: |
| CLAUDIO | Disloyal? |
| DON JOHN | The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall see her chamber-window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you love her then, to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind. |
| CLAUDIO | May this be so? |
| DON PEDRO | I will not think it. |
| DON JOHN | If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know: if you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly. |
| CLAUDIO | If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her. |
| DON PEDRO | And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her. |
| DON JOHN | I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself. |
| DON PEDRO | O day untowardly turned! |
| CLAUDIO | O mischief strangely thwarting! |
| DON JOHN | O plague right well prevented! so will you say when you have seen the sequel. |
| [Exeunt] |