| [Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY] | |
| TOUCHSTONE | We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey. |
| AUDREY | Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying. |
| TOUCHSTONE | A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you. |
| AUDREY | Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean. |
| TOUCHSTONE | It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: by my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold. |
| [Enter WILLIAM] | |
| WILLIAM | Good even, Audrey. |
| AUDREY | God ye good even, William. |
| WILLIAM | And good even to you, sir. |
| TOUCHSTONE | Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend? |
| WILLIAM | Five and twenty, sir. |
| TOUCHSTONE | A ripe age. Is thy name William? |
| WILLIAM | William, sir. |
| TOUCHSTONE | A fair name. Wast born i' the forest here? |
| WILLIAM | Ay, sir, I thank God. |
| TOUCHSTONE | 'Thank God;' a good answer. Art rich? |
| WILLIAM | Faith, sir, so so. |
| TOUCHSTONE | 'So so' is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? |
| WILLIAM | Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit. |
| TOUCHSTONE | Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying, 'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.' The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid? |
| WILLIAM | I do, sir. |
| TOUCHSTONE | Give me your hand. Art thou learned? |
| WILLIAM | No, sir. |
| TOUCHSTONE | Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he. |
| WILLIAM | Which he, sir? |
| TOUCHSTONE | He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon,--which is in the vulgar leave,--the society,--which in the boorish is company,--of this female,--which in the common is woman; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble and depart. |
| AUDREY | Do, good William. |
| WILLIAM | God rest you merry, sir. |
| [Exit] | |
| [Enter CORIN] | |
| CORIN | Our master and mistress seeks you; come, away, away! |
| TOUCHSTONE | Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend. |
| [Exeunt] |