| [Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and Clown] | |
| LAFEU | No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced by the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of. |
| COUNTESS | I would I had not known him; it was the death of the most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating. If she had partaken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I could not have owed her a more rooted love. |
| LAFEU | 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand salads ere we light on such another herb. |
| Clown | Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or rather, the herb of grace. |
| LAFEU | They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs. |
| Clown | I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in grass. |
| LAFEU | Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool? |
| Clown | A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's. |
| LAFEU | Your distinction? |
| Clown | I would cozen the man of his wife and do his service. |
| LAFEU | So you were a knave at his service, indeed. |
| Clown | And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service. |
| LAFEU | I will subscribe for thee, thou art both knave and fool. |
| Clown | At your service. |
| LAFEU | No, no, no. |
| Clown | Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a prince as you are. |
| LAFEU | Who's that? a Frenchman? |
| Clown | Faith, sir, a' has an English name; but his fisnomy is more hotter in France than there. |
| LAFEU | What prince is that? |
| Clown | The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of darkness; alias, the devil. |
| LAFEU | Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of; serve him still. |
| Clown | I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the world; let his nobility remain in's court. I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be too little for pomp to enter: some that humble themselves may; but the many will be too chill and tender, and they'll be for the flowery way that leads to the broad gate and the great fire. |
| LAFEU | Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee; and I tell thee so before, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be well looked to, without any tricks. |
| Clown | If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be jades' tricks; which are their own right by the law of nature. |
| [Exit] | |
| LAFEU | A shrewd knave and an unhappy. |
| COUNTESS | So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much sport out of him: by his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and, indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will. |
| LAFEU | I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death and that my lord your son was upon his return home, I moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, did first propose: his highness hath promised me to do it: and, to stop up the displeasure he hath conceived against your son, there is no fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it? |
| COUNTESS | With very much content, my lord; and I wish it happily effected. |
| LAFEU | His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as when he numbered thirty: he will be here to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such intelligence hath seldom failed. |
| COUNTESS | It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have letters that my son will be here to-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remain with me till they meet together. |
| LAFEU | Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might safely be admitted. |
| COUNTESS | You need but plead your honourable privilege. |
| LAFEU | Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but I thank my God it holds yet. |
| [Re-enter Clown] | |
| Clown | O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of velvet on's face: whether there be a scar under't or no, the velvet knows; but 'tis a goodly patch of velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a half, but his right cheek is worn bare. |
| LAFEU | A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that. |
| Clown | But it is your carbonadoed face. |
| LAFEU | Let us go see your son, I pray you: I long to talk with the young noble soldier. |
| Clown | Faith there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine hats and most courteous feathers, which bow the head and nod at every man. |
| [Exeunt] |